The answer isn't always obvious when you're in the middle of it. Sometimes what looks like the problem isn't the whole problem. See more of what's happening, make a sound decision, and take action that moves what matters forward.
Maybe you've caught yourself thinking something like:
“Why do I have to keep following up?”
“I told them what I need. Why aren't they doing it?”
“I know I need to have the conversation. I'm just worried about how they'll take it.”
“I know I need to think more strategically. I just don't know where I'm supposed to find the time.”
“I was doing great until I got derailed. Why is it so hard to get started again?”
Sometimes the problem is exactly what it appears to be. Sometimes there's more to see.
That's where the conversation starts.
You bring what's happening. We'll start there, explore what we're seeing, and determine what you want to do next.
I'll ask questions based on what I'm hearing, share what I'm seeing, and point out what I'm not seeing. We may explore an assumption, look at what's driving the concern, or bring in another perspective. Sometimes we'll role play the conversation you need to have, pull up your calendar, work through a document, or simply stay with the issue long enough to understand what it means for you.
The conversation can be serious and focused. We can laugh and share a story too. What matters is leaving with something you own and are ready to act on.
Sometimes the work continues after the call. If there's something worth exploring or practicing, I'll challenge you to take it on and bring back what you learn.
“I am very used to giving ‘general answers’ that I think would please people. Steve didn't let me off that easy. He challenged my answers and made me think a bit deeper, which I really appreciated.”
Sometimes you notice it first.
You catch yourself making an assumption. You realize you're creating the outcome of a conversation before you've even had it. You're about to say yes to another meeting, then stop and ask whether you or anyone on your team actually needs to be there. You start looking beyond what's due today and make room to think about what's ahead.
Sometimes other people notice first.
Your boss sees you communicating more directly. Your team begins responding differently. Your spouse notices you're home instead of checking on “one more thing.”
Better doesn't have to look the same for everyone. What matters is seeing the choices in front of you, deciding what fits, and acting on it.
“I found myself thinking, ‘What would Steve ask me?’ when I was facing a challenge.”
One client admitted later that he expected a drill sergeant. That's not what he got.
I'll give you room to think, slow things down when needed, and let you find your way when you're finding it. I'll also stop you and share what I'm hearing when I think there's something worth putting on the table.
My experience is there when it's useful. But this isn't about learning to lead like me. It's about becoming stronger at leading like you.
“Steve has a really gentle way of coaching, always thoughtful, gently prodding, and asking great questions that cut to the chase.”
I've led small teams and large organizations spread across the country. I've worked through culture change, brought people together around a shared vision, had the difficult conversations, and made the shift from being known for technical expertise to growing as a leader.
I didn't naturally know how to do all of it. I learned by leading, getting some things right, getting others wrong, and having good mentors and coaches along the way.
I won't pretend that means I know what you should do. But I do know what it's like to be the person who has to decide.
30 years leadership experience | ICF PCC | M.A. Organizational Leadership